We began seeing one another. The following weeks were the happiest in my life. Every time the phone rang, my heart beat faster. We saw one another practically every day for two weeks, except for the Christmas break. He already had plans to go home for Christmas and for reasons I have now come to understand, he could not include me. So I spent the holidays at John’s place instead, all the time thinking about Keith and missing him.

It was ridiculous; we had known one another barely two weeks and already I was feeling like some part of me was incomplete without him. In my weaker moments, I found myself doubting if Keith felt the same way. A few times I picked up my phone to call him, but resolutely made myself put it down, not wanting to look too needy. Heck, he was not even my boyfriend – yet!I felt a quick surge of happiness when he called to say he was back in town, though I kept my tone casual.

I picked him up from his apartment and we went for a long slow drive. All the way to the beach; this would later become one of our favorite haunts. It was deserted of course. We braved the winds and went for a walk, cheeks numbing in seconds. As we turned to trudge our way up the sandy banks to the car, I looked back at Keith trailing a couple of steps behind me.

Impulsively, I held out my hand to him. His head jerked up in surprise, his eyes opening wide. Time stood frozen for a moment. I smiled at him, he ducked his head, and then he put his hand into mine, blushing self-consciously.Our physical encounters over the last couple of weeks had been confined to handshakes, playful slaps on the back, or the casual arm brushing against one another, that sort of thing. And a few quick goodnight kisses. Nothing more intimate. Strangely enough we had never actually held hands, and certainly never in public.

Feeling a bit dizzy, my hand tightened around his cold one, and we continued to walk together, hand in hand for the first time. All I could think of then was the feel of Keith’s hand in mine, how right it felt, how perfectly it fit. Some people may not regard holding hands to be such a big deal, but it was for me. Fingers touching intimately in public was like a secret, sacred union. An affirmation of commitment and a definitive declaration. I guess it was finally a solemnization of ‘us’. That night, we made love for the first time.

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